The Blogger Jack 张哲洋
08/17/91
Henderson Primary School
Yuhua Primary School
Nan Hua High School
St. Andrew's Junior College
Singapore University of Technology and Design
From the naively cute perception of the world when I was a kid, to the indifferent one, with a tinge of sadness, in my teens, to the current state of utter confusion in my twenty (NOT twenties...yet), adults have always tossed their hope unto me with this particular statement:
[You're smart and you ought to be successful when you grow up! Work hard!]
Although sometimes, some would leave out the front part regarding my intelligence (possibly out of jealousy, heh), the idea that it is imperative for me to be successful, is always there. It's as if, it's my destiny to be a "Successer".
It is as if, I am The Chosen One.
.....Well, of course, except the fact that everyone else was the chosen one too. It's like everyone had their very own digimon, instead of just the 7 of them.
However, the only problem is that, I'm not quite sure of what this little thing called Success means. Also, the part where they've mentioned that I'm smart? I'm also not quite sure of what that means either. You know it's not as clear as saying that I'm the last Ancient/Cetra left on this earth or that I'm related, by blood, with the first Vongola boss. It's this vague notion of smartness, which is supposed to lead me to this even vague-erer idea of success.
"Fuck yeah! C'mon now Smart, we're totally gonna pwn the world and become a Successist! Wooo!"
See? I'm confused.
And ofcourse, these are just the confusions I have that I am actually able to articulate.
Success
Is achieving an annual global peace day, like what Jeremy Gilley has been trying to do, a success?
Is winning two Nobel prizes, like Maria Curie a success?
Is being a famous/infamous person, where your fame or notoriety can withstand the corrosion of time like CaoCao and Thomas Jefferson a success?
Is trying to inspire students to make a difference in their lives, one class by one class, year after year, a success?
Is being the person with the longest lifespan a success?
Is having the humility to apologise for the oil spill a success?
Is earning 2.7m annually in order to serve the people a success?
Is being a wealthy person and carve "HAMAD" into an island near Abu Dhabi, like Hamad bin Hamdan al Nahyan, a success?
Intelligence
What do you think intelligence consists of? Is it whatever the IQ tests tries to test?
If your answer is yes, that IQ score = intelligence (it's called Intelligence Quotient ffs), then would it bother you that Christopher Langan, with an IQ of 200+, hasn't already ruled the world? Or would you take comfort in that fact?
If your answer is no, then why does everyone give so much of a shit about IQ scores?
According to Howard Gardner, in which I'm more inclined to believe, there are 8 components to it: Logical Linguistic Spatial Musical Kinesthetic Interpersonal Intrapersonal Naturalist Existential
This post is not intended to be some kind of essay with a nice, concluding ending. It's more of like a container (of infinite volume, fortunately) used to store my growing amounts of confusion I have about this world. Other confusions I might wana add are:
- Why are there some of my ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, perfectly normal looking friends I've met in the past, doing Multi-Level Marketing these days?
- Why do the whole world actually calmly acknowledge this idea called "Politics" as if it's some kind of run-of-the-mill idea like Art, Religion or cuteness?
- Why do parents, the media and the school (the whole fking society really) think that brainwashing kids with utopian stories is the best way to raise them? Like you expect them to be cute, naive creatures and perhaps staying that way for a while, but yet you expect them to grow up to become a mature, and preferably scheming, person who can maneuver and survive in the so-called adult world also. Whatever that means.
There are things that we know we don't know and things that we don't know we don't know
Hmm, I realise that in the modern world, people are only concerned about what you live for, and not what you die for. Sometimes, I wished I was a matyr who would die for a grand cause, instead of trying to figure shits out bit by bit haha. All that loyalty, that emotional attachment and willingness to sacrifise your life, makes being a human so much more awesome.
What was initially just a joke and a desperate attempt to calm ourselves down, turned out to be a very apt analogy for the whole 'A' Level experience. That is, the striking resemblance between a round of hardcore Blackjack and the A lvl.
-You go up to the table and a mysterious guy deliberately threw in all your chips for that one round of blackjack. There is no turning back now. As you realise all your assets are in this single round of gamble, you braced yourself for the worst, as well as the best. Then you flip over the cards and allow your eye to absorb the sight of the numbers which decide your fate. Suddenly, at that particular moment between flipping over the cards and deciphering what is written on it, there seems to be a void of space and time. Everything stops. Time, your breath, your heartbeat, everything and everyone around you. Your surroundings also seem to be devoured by the darkness for a little while. Just a little while, but that itself also seems like an eternity to you. One card shows 10 and the other sho..........
Well, it's been a wonderful 2 years to be in SAJC. I still rmb the first day when I entered the school, bearing in mind that I've been posted to my second choice, I saw the words at the foyer - "No one is here by chance" and went "Wah lan eh......siannnnnn".
However, just 2 weeks into my JC life, I found that all of the people there are extremely nice. Being a rather pessimistic realist, I was very skeptical towards this idealistic, if not naive observation and thus, mentally prepared myself for the day when I realise that SAJC actually sucks.
The day never came.
Although I do rmb how annoyed I was at the time when the CSC (China study in Chinese) teacher gathered all the JC1 who took HMT. He analysed with us how much more beneficial it would be for us to take this H1 subject over, say, H1 Econs. He explained that the CSC course only lasts for 1 year and considering the fact that we were supposedly people who already have some foundations in Chinese, we should be able to perform better than if we had chosen Econs - a subject that we have had absolutely no prior knowledge to. Therefore, we will be a lot more likely to get an A and also more time in JC2 to study for the other subjects. Nowhere, throughout the entire session, did he mention about whether we would be interested in this particular subject, or the knowledge that we would eventually be bringing away with, whatever the fking grade eventually. But I wouldn't blame him. He was thoughtful for us in a very pragmatic way. In fact, it is true that for JC students, grades are everything. A 70% distinction rate for E Lit this year? Hell yea I would have considered that if I had known better.
All I can say is that, having went to SAJC and studied there for 2 years, I've definitely learned a lot. Many things that are completely unrelated to the subjects that the teachers taught. Things that are worth infinitely more than the grades that I've gotten. Whereas, having went through the whole A lvl process, I gambled, and it was all-in. I gambled my time, my life and my soul. Luckily, I had an okay hand.
Perhaps, given Singapore's circumstances, the need for efficiency and economic competitiveness leaves its education system no choice but to avoid offering the less economically favourable subjects like Photography, Philosophy (for the lower-tier educational institutions) and other "obscure" subjects. Perhaps, given A lvl's drawbacks and inaccuracies - for example, the same person who gets a Distinction for H3 Physics (which is not very easy to obtain), also gets a B for H2 Physics (which is comparatively much easier to score) - it is still the most efficient and accurate assessment method we can have?
But I guess and hope that all these choose-subject-to-get-A-for-major-exam is behind me, and that I can finally decide what to learn for learning's sake.
Of all the movies, drama and pop music, 40% are devoted to the protagonist emoing over breakups or love triangles polygons and 30% for indecency. Fortunately, the remaining 30% teaches the audience how to nurture a good relationship, discover the true meaning and essence of....... Nah, I'm just kidding, the 30% is reserved for sex, violence and cgi/autotune
Coling Strause, Greg Strause - Skyline M. Night Shyamalan - Avatar: The last airbender Michael Apted - The Chronicles of Narnia 3 Paul W.S. Anderson - Resident Evil: Afterlife Roland Emmerich - 2012 张艺谋 - 满城尽带黄金甲
Movie directors FAV LIST
Alex Proyas - I, robot Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois - How to train your dragon Christopher Nolan - Batman begins; The dark knight; Inception Frank Coraci - Click James Cameron - Avatar Martin Scorsese - Shutter island Michael Bay - The island Ron Howard - A beautiful mind Zack Snyder - 300; Watchmen 丁晟 - 大兵小将 叶伟信 - 叶问 于仁泰 - 霍元甲 张之亮 - 墨攻 周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密 周星驰 - 少林足球；国产凌凌漆
All moral stories/fairy tales lack one value Honesty
